Archive | October 2011

Cold…

Who else feels the cold seeping into your bones. My feet don’t want to bend. They try but it hurts to walk. Not to mention my knees and hips!!! Blah!!! Cold weather sucks!

 

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What can I say?

Every once in a while I tend to hide in my little hole and try to pretend the rest of the world does not exist. I’m not sure if I am done or not, but I am poking my head out to see what’s going on.

Here is a bit of what I have been up to the past month…

I found my bread maker! Well, I knew where it was, but have never really used it. Now I am using it like crazy! I haven’t bought a loaf of bread in weeks. The bad part is that it is so yummy the kids are acting like white bread is a dessert! What is wrong with them! I can barely make it fast enough!

Someone, the younger girl in our family, not saying any names… Kind of backed into our garage.

With my pretty car… 😦 Not so pretty now is it?

While running out my mom’s back door to save her from burning to death I managed to fall and sprain my ankle. Turned out she was yelling “I started the fire!” not “I’m on fire!”.

I may have had a nervous breakdown or two due to all the stress of the past few years building and building. I’m one that is fine and dandy and then I explode…

Due to all the stress I am now selling myself to the highest bidder. I mean most expensive beer. Just kidding. I thought this was cute and decided to add it. I’ll take all beer you offer though. Oh yeah, I’m making Christmas presents! That’s where the crochet part comes in. It helps with the stress.

So basically that has been my October. I also failed to note that my memory sucks this past week. I feel like there is more, but I just can’t remember it! LOL!

 

???

Are you there for me?

Not you of course. I would never expect you to be there. You have only “known” me briefly.  I’m talking about the rest of you out there. The ones I see every day. Do I tell you everything? No, I don’t want you to feel sorry for me. Do I share my whole life with you? No, I don’t want you to feel sympathy for me. Do I share the pain and guilt with you? No, I just can’t.  So how would you really know me? I guess you can’t.

It’s hard for me to be a Sjogren’s Ambassador. My whole life is about being positive. I try my best even when I don’t feel it. I force myself to be happy when I’m in public for the sake of everyone else there or I just don’t go in public. Hence the, but you don’t look sick. I don’t want my children and family to know how bad off I am. I want to help but if I am faking it most of my life. Is that helping to get the word out about Sjogren’s? Am I denying it or am I being positive. Most of the time I feel I am being positive, but sometimes when so much comes down on me I’m  just not sure…