Winter is the worst time of year for me. It’s not just the weather. It’s also the kids in school and the holidays. There is so much stress. I’m in pain most of the time. I was falling asleep last night and I had to write something… this is what I came up with…
I know who I am but what am I becoming?
Year by year, month by month, day by day I change.
The pain gets worse but my mind… it’s still strong!
I joke. I laugh. I cry.
I try to fill my days so I can forget, but it only reminds more that I can’t.
I pay for everything that I do.
It pulls apart my inner being.
I try to stay strong!
My mind is whittling away bit by bit.
My memory is receding, but my mind still wants to be strong!
I feel guilt. I feel sorrow. I feel emptiness.
My mind is trying to remember to stay strong!
I may wither when things are bad, but my mind will be stronger in the end!
Sorry for any grammatical errors or it not being in the right form. That was what I got from my husband and his daughter… I’m glad they understand me.
I’m sorry, I know my husband understands or tries to. He is really wonderful and I am truly lucky to have him. He just doesn’t know how to deal with it sometimes. I usually joke about it and he tried to joke with me about my post and I got upset. It hurt my feelings. I’m not always easy to read so I understand. I love you Sweetie and I’m sorry I got upset. I’m just in pain and having a hard time dealing with things lately.