What is happening to me?

It’s been awhile I have been on here, but I have been so fatigued. I had an incident yesterday that really scared me. I was wondering if any of you have had this happen…

I was pulling weeds in the yard. I was also taking breaks so I don’t think I over did it. First I got this feeling on the upper part of my arm. It was a burning feeling and hurt really bad. It then started to travel down my arm. It felt like hot razors were slashing my skin. I thought I was going to have to go to the doctor. After about 20 minutes it went away, but the pain is hard to forget.

After another break I finished up. It took about 10 minutes. I started to feel funny. Unstable and dizzy. I went inside and after going to the bathroom I was feeling worse. I thought maybe I needed to eat something so I got a bowl of cereal and while I was eating my body was getting heavier and heavier. My son was sitting with me, 13 years old, I told him to get the blood pressure monitor. By the time he got back with it I could barely hold myself up. Luckily my arm was on the table by the bowl. That was the only thing keeping my face from being in the bowl. My son got the cuff on and my blood pressure wasn’t to bad around 90/56 or so. It was jumping up and down and so was my pulse anywhere between 85 and 135. I could barely talk or open my eyes. I was slurring badly. The kids tried calling my husband and didn’t get an answer so I managed to tell them to call 911. It took a bit for them to translate what I was saying.

The paramedics checked everything and it all seemed ok, but I couldn’t move or really talk. I knew what was going on, but I couldn’t let them know that my mind was still active.

They got me to the hospital and they ran more tests. As usual they didn’t find anything at all. I’m so tired of that happening. At least this time they saw what was happening. I became more alert as time went on, but I could not move my legs from the knee down and my hands were not reacting properly. After a bit I was able to wiggle my toes a little but not fully and it took A LOT of effort.

After 5 hours I seemed to be back in working order. They let me go home since they couldn’t find anything. I was still shaky but could walk and talk normal. I got home and pretty much slept until a few hours ago. I am still shaky today, but I have finally been able to stay out of bed for a few hours. I do feel a nap coming on very soon.

Also for a few months I wake up and before I get out of bed I shake uncontrollably for almost a minute. I don’t know if this has anything to do with it.


The cold has come…

I borrowed this from Kate.

Winter is the worst time of year for me. It’s not just the weather. It’s also the kids in school and the holidays. There is so much stress. I’m in pain most of the time. I was falling asleep last night and I had to write something… this is what I came up with…

I know who I am but what am I becoming?

Year by year, month by month, day by day I change.

The pain gets worse but my mind… it’s still strong!

I joke. I laugh. I cry.

I try to fill my days so I can forget, but it only reminds more that I can’t.

I pay for everything that I do.

It pulls apart my inner being.

I try to stay strong!

My mind is whittling away bit by bit.

My memory is receding, but my mind still wants to be strong!

I feel guilt. I feel sorrow. I feel emptiness.

My mind is trying to remember to stay strong!

I may wither when things are bad, but my mind will be stronger in the end!


Sorry for any grammatical errors or it not being in the right form. That was what I got from my husband and his daughter… I’m glad they understand me.


I’m sorry, I know my husband understands or tries to. He is really wonderful and I am truly lucky to have him. He just doesn’t know how to deal with it sometimes. I usually joke about it and he tried to joke with me about my post and I got upset. It hurt my feelings. I’m not always easy to read so I understand. I love you Sweetie and I’m sorry I got upset. I’m just in pain and having a hard time dealing with things lately.


So the doc thinks I’m having mini seizures. From my latest description and the meds I’m on that is the route we are heading in now. I’m on a new medicine, Lamictal. He said it is for seizures and very safe. Not sure what his idea of safe is when the warning says I can get a life threatening rash!?! LOL! What kind of rash is life threatening? I did find that Lupus can cause these types of seizures. My old Rheumy said I was in the beginning stages of Lupus. Does this mean I’m further along now? Blah, all this sucks.

For having a new diagnosis I think I handled it pretty well. I usually freak out and drink too much. I must be getting used to this shit.

So, we now have Sjogren’s Syndrome, maybe Lupus, Fibromyalgia, and Raynaud’s. I wonder how many more I can add before the end of the year.